Flower Girls and Pageboys: Should You Have Them?

Flower girls and pageboys (ring bearers) add an element of innocent childlike charm and warmth to any wedding ceremony. But cute as they may be, there do definitely pose certain risks. We’ve weight up the duties, pros and cons of including your favourite kidlets in your wedding ceremony.

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Possible duties of the flowergirl

  • To attend pre-wedding day ceremony rehearsals
  • To walk before the bride and throw petals down the aisle to symbolize the brides new chosen path in life
  • To walk down the aisle with the pageboy
  • Hold a basket of rose petals or confetti for other guests to throw at the newlyweds as they depart
  • To follow bridesmaids up the aisle and depart with the bridesmaids
  • Be present in all wedding photos
  • Possibly stand up with the bridesmaids during the length of the ceremony

Possible duties of the pageboy/ring bearer

  • To attend pre-wedding day ceremony rehearsals
  • To walk down the aisle with the flower girl
  • Deliver the wedding rings down the aisle to the groom
  • Hold a basket of rose petals or confetti for other guests to throw at the newlyweds as they depart
  • Be present in all wedding photos
  • Possibly stand up with the groomsmen during the length (or part thereof) of the ceremony

Pros of Including Kiddies

  • They look great in photos
  • They have the effect of rounding off the wedding party
  • They provide some levity during an otherwise stressful day
  • They’ll love being treated specially
  • Their parents will appreciate your including them
  • You’ll always have a special spot in their hearts
  • If they make it through to the reception, they’ll tear up the dancefloor like no one else
  • A group of kids can easily be allocated a kid’s table
  • Your tantrums won’t look nearly as bad compared to theirs

Cons of Including Them

  • They can be moody and volatile
  • Someone will have to end up babysitting them
  • They may throw a tantrum and affect the ceremony (depending on their age)
  • They could cause disruption/ embarrassment (e.g. screaming, speaking out of turn, etc)
  • They’re prone to causing mess
  • They may have to be taken home after the ceremony, depending on the lateness of your reception

Tips to Control Your Little Ones

  • Ensure that the children you choose for these roles are confident in performing in front of a large crowd. Pre-wedding rehearsals often aid in ironing out some nerves but should not be relied on as a foolproof plan. Kids will be kids and there is a possibility things will go wrong on the day.
  • Ensure the child is there at the pre-wedding rehearsal so they can practice.
  • Ensure that they have had a nap before the ceremony or a good nights sleep beforehand.
  • Under no circumstances should you give the children sugar before the ceremony!!
  • If children refuse to do what they are told it is often handy to resort to bribery. It’s amazing what children will do for a lollipop. Just make sure that they get their treat after and not prior to the ceremony.
  • Make sure the children are dressed in appropriate and comfortable clothing.
  • Take the wedding photos before the ceremony if possible as the child won’t be as tired.
  • Remember that children will often find it difficult to stand through an entire ceremony so it may be a good idea to let them sit down with their parents after their initial duties have been performed.
  • If you are not confident with letting the page boy carry the real rings, allow the page boy to carry replicas and entrust the real rings to your best man. Alternatively you can sew the rings to the ring bearing pillow with a single thread.

Whilst each child’s behaviour and contribution to the actual wedding will differ as vastly as the children themselves, including them will invite relaxed, sociable, and all-round good vibes. Those who are unprepared for what including children involves, however, will be in for a tiny, loud and messy awakening. Consider all these discussed factors carefully before making a decision that will influence your big day either way!