The cake is cut, the confetti swept and the dance hall empty – time for the honeymoon. Ask any newly wed couple and many will tell you that their first night was the worst of their entire honeymoon. Could this be due to a lack of understanding about who does what in the honeymoon suite?

Apart from all other stress factors associated with weddings, couples also have to deal with a bit of social pressure about their first night together. Honeymoon jokes and insinuations are rife at weddings with nutches, winks and shoulder slaps all over. Though meant well, these sort of comments do put an expectation factor into play for newly weds and often they fall into the many traps set by myth.

Couples tying the knot on the silver screen or television fall into the honeymoon bed with such passion, energy and lust for each other, that this ‘performance’ sets the benchmark. In real life the couple is exhausted, eager to find a moment of peace and quiet and mostly just glad to have made it through their wedding day.

To expect an earthmoving sexual experience at this point in time may be pushing it a bit far, yet most newly weds do make an attempt to seal the deal. In many cases these disastrous few moments are swept under the emotional carpet as a lesson learned and not to be talked about again. A few ideas on taking control of your wedding night might just change your story dramatically.

Talk about your first night long before you actually get there. Planning ahead now may feel like you are taking away spontaneity, but that certainly is not the case. Setting out a few possibilities will let you both relax about the night and actually reduce stress.

Firstly, tell each other that there are no unrealistic expectations. You will be surprised to see the relief on your partners face. This does not mean that you banish all possibilities of sex, you simply decide that it is not a prerequisite for your perfect first night together.

Then get down to seducing each other. The best honeymoon starts months before the actual wedding day. Couples use weddings as special occasions and many save some aspect of lovemaking for that day. The whole idea of giving yourself totally to another moves to the centre of your sexual relationship.

Buy him or her special underwear for the big day. Knowing what she is wearing under her wedding dress makes a bride irresistible to any groom. Flirting in his ear with information about his gift underwear and how it feels wearing it will keep him semi aroused right through the day. Telling her how you are planning to remove those little bits later will do the same to her. This way you build sexual tension long before the honeymoon suite door closes behind you.

On the actual night, have your plans ready to spoil each other. Take into consideration that you will be tired, so have a long bath together, bring out the massage oils and spoil each other with slow sensual body rubs. This will take planning, so setting up the honeymoon suite should be done before hand – nothing spoils the mood like a desperate search for a candle.

The groom usually keeps his honeymoon destination a secret to his new wife, so it often comes down on him to prepare for the perfect first night. This is your chance to finally sweep her off her feet forever. Treat her like a goddess and receive her blessings mildly for years to come.

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