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So you’re getting married and it’s all super exciting in that way that makes you want to go “Aaaahhh” while doing a mad little hopping dance and squeezing the nearest person or inanimate object. But when you do release your energy with a high pitched “Aaaahhh” it comes out less like an excited squeal and more like an exclamation of terror.

And here’s why: You are shy. So shy, in fact, that you cannot begin to fathom being the center of attention for an extended period of time at your upcoming wedding. And every day, as your wedding looms closer like a ship about to hit an iceberg, you feel yourself getting more and more nervous.

For a start, here are some things you need to know: Being shy is ok. It’s ok to be introverted, it’s ok to be modest, quiet, unassuming. Our culture is the type that generally celebrates outgoing, extroverted people, and as a byproduct, undervalues people like you that just need more ‘me’ time. In truth, it is often the people who possess qualities like your own that are the ones who can buckle down and achieve great things through their quiet determination. So instead of viewing your shyness as a handicap, think of it as a blessing.

That’s all very nice and good, I hear you say, but how will I survive my own wedding? Here are a few pointers: Your wedding is your big day and it is probably going to be one of the happiest days of your life.  Happiness – true, authentic can’t-stop-smiling happiness is likely to be the most overpowering emotion on your wedding day. It is possible that you will be so happy, nothing else will even matter. And when nothing else matters, neither does the fact that you intensely dislike being the center of attention.

If all this happiness talk is too airy-fairy for you, remember also that you are not the only player in the show that is your wedding. In this production there will also be a groom, groomsmen, bridesmaids, family and friends and of course, that one great aunt who thinks it’s her wedding day, too. Guests might initially comment on your dress, hair or demeanor but then they will move on. Even brides become less interesting as the wedding heats up.

Also remember that there are lots of people at a wedding and everyone is usually too self-centered to worry about anyone but themselves. The proof of this is that your worries revolve around yourself, too. Think about this: the term self-conscious can be translated into conscious about self. You are not the only one thinking about the impression they make. So just relax and go with the flow. You’ll be surprised how easy it can be.

Another thing to keep in mind is that your wedding day is likely to pass in a whirlwind. You may be too swept up in all the happenings to even remember that you’re supposed to be shy. So instead of using your pre-wedding energy to focus on the butterflies in your stomach, focus instead on how enjoyable your wedding day will be and actively look forward to it. After all, you are marrying the love or your life.

If you find yourself still fretting as the days get closer to The Big Day, take a deep breath and mentally put yourself in your happy place, wherever that might be. Then tell those butterflies to find another home because there is something more important at hand. You have a job to turn up to. A job you’ve been looking forward to your entire life and one that has no use for a few bored butterflies.





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