the bridezilla alter ego
It’s my wedding day and the photographer is late. It’s MY wedding day and the photographer is LATE. How could he be late on MY WEDDING DAY? Come to think of it, the centerpieces are not quite as they were pictured, the bouquet in my hands is slightly off centre, and, one second – could it really be that one of my bridesmaids completely altered her dress without my permission? Don’t all these people know this is my special day? That’s it – they are ruining my special day. Now, hand me a tissue so I can dab these escaping tears out of my eyes without ruining my makeup, while I resist the urge to have a tantrum.
Bridezilla, much? Does all this “My-my-my,” talk ring bells and spell out like a catch phrase on Sale of the Century: B.R.I.D.E.Z.I.L.L.A? Ding! Congratulations, you guessed it. The Bridezilla has landed. Beware. This will not be pretty. But what if you are the bridezilla and you just don’t know it? Or worse, you do know it, but you feel this new being that has replaced calm with crazy, is completely unstoppable? That once it has sunken its sharp covered-in-venom teeth into your beautiful exterior, that’s it – you’re possessed? Well, listen here: in a nutshell, you’re not. Possessed, that is. Your bridezilla alter ego will only exist if you allow it to, so it won’t help to throw blame around. If you feel yourself losing control on your wedding day, here are a few exercises to try to gain back some of the semblance of the cool and collected bride you were a few minutes ago.
Breathe. It’s an age old technique and one that’s been around forever because it actually works. If you find yourself about to lose it, take a few deep, slow, calming breathes. You’ll find that pausing and breathing will confuse your body that was about to lash out and do something destructive and create a break that will open your diaphragm, get more air into your lungs and help you relax enough to deal with the situation without losing it.
Shake it all out. Find a quiet room, lock the door and wring out all the exasperation from your body. Jiggle and jump and shake, as if you were doing a wild version of the hokey-pokey. If you need to, let out a swear word or two. Then, once all the angst has literally been driven out of your body, take a few deep breathes and return to the situation.
Practice being philosophical. So the photographer is a few minutes late. It’s not the end of the world. You will still run according to schedule and he will still get 10,000 plus gorgeous shots of you and your soon to be husband, regardless. So your bouquet appears a little uncentred. Do you really think it’s noticeable to anyone else? And those centerpieces? No doubt they are beautiful even if you did expect them to look a little different. We all know that the real important things at a wedding are not the small details, which are usually overlooked, and definitely not scrutinized by others.
So, if you find yourself on your wedding day acting out a scenario similar to the one above, try to remember to relax enough that your wedding will be enjoyable. And if you do have an attack of the ‘zilla, rest assured that the moment will pass. And when it does, you can put the ‘zilla behind and turn on those it’s-my-wedding-day-and-I’ll-laugh-if-I-want-to bridal charms. After all, brides are always more attractive than their bridezilla alter egos.