It’s a scenario you might have seen replayed in one of your school friends, or even in yourself. We know the type all too well. They go through their entire schooling repeating like a mantra that they will never, and I mean, NEVER, get married. Not under any circumstance. Not in this lifetime and not even in the next. They don’t believe in marriage, they think it’s soppy, superficial and a waste of time. And yet, somewhere down the track that same person who vowed it would never happen to them, gets engaged and starts planning her wedding. What happened? How could someone who was so adamantly against it, turn around and become part of the group she condemned?
To put it simply, people grow up. That same girl in your class at school, who turned up her nose at matrimony, might have been doing it for a number of reasons. She might have needed a little extra attention, and in a room full of squirming girls who have been dreaming of their wedding since they were five, there was a good chance she would get the attention she craved. There are other potential reasons, too. She might have been scared of marriage and what it means. She might also have had negative role models who did not portray happy or loving aspects of marriage. Growing up, she might have witnessed her parents fighting, taken one look at their marriage, and said, nope, not for me! These are only some of the potential reasons for this kind of decision made early in life. However, life is more complicated than that, and there is never just one reason for a decision like this.
People change. To expect people to stay the same is like expecting an egg to stay raw when boiled. Yes, the girl who protested her whole life she would never marry may have meant it with all her heart at the time, but ten years down the track she may very well be a different person. Life has a way of changing people, experience by experience. And people have the right to change their mind. Think of it like waves coming into the shore. The sand, rocks and beach itself are always there – they are constant. But each wave that comes in is unique and different from the last. People are like beaches – we essentially remain the same. Our attitudes, viewpoints and opinions are like waves – they come and go.
So if you are the one who vowed never to get married, but are now donning the white dress, rest assured that you are making the right decision. And when your old classmates comes up to you before the ceremony and makes a joke about you being a bride, just smile kindly and remind her that she used to cry when her mum dropped her off in the mornings. In grade 6.
Image: bride abroad