Saying ‘I do’: That moment you realize it’s more than just words

4121da1088b6232929b7ac8d89f61d39You catch sight of yourself in the mirror on the day of your wedding and something in your gaze makes you pause and stare back, slightly unnerved – it’s that moment. You’re standing next to your fiancé before the ceremony when he catches your eye and says, “We’re really doing this.” You smile, as butterflies rise up to your throat – it’s that moment. You’re in the middle of a dance bracket, flying like the wind when your now-husband pulls your new mother in law into the circle to dance. She grips your hand tightly, winks, and says, “Who knew he’d get such a catch.” You grin back but inside you’re secretly shaking – it’s that moment. It’s the moment of reality, of truth. The moment when, despite the flurry and excitement of the wedding, there’s that little something that jolts you into realizing just how big of a commitment marriage actually is.

It may happen to you any time before your wedding day, it may happen at one point during your wedding, or it may even happen when you wake up the next day next to your new husband. It also may never happen to you around your actual wedding. But for arguments sake, let’s say that having that moment of realization is a natural aspect of getting married. But what causes brides to have that moment when they stop and everything comes rushing down around them like a ton of bricks? Here we elaborate on this phenomenon: what it means, whether or not it’s a good thing, and what to do in the event of it occurring.

Although it may not seem like a positive thing to have a moment (or moments) of complete anxiety over getting married, it actually is. This anxiety is letting you know that you care about making things work. You care so much, in fact, that your body is sending signals telling you just how important it all is to you. Those signals appear in the form of various side effects, and that’s ok. What’s important is that you recognize them for what they are, and pay attention to them if they are creating an extreme and ongoing reaction to you. If this is the case, there is probably something your body is trying to tell you. But if these moments of anxiety come and go briefly, it is only your body’s way of communicating just how big of a deal marriage actually is. And since marriage is, in fact, a big deal, having moments like this is normal and to be expected.

The thing about experiencing moments of realization, is that usually they will surprise you by hitting you out of nowhere. You may be brushing your hair, driving or listening to your favourite song when they catch you by complete surprise. In most instances when you do have one of these moments you will only experience mild nerves and discomfort. But since everyone reacts to life events differently, keep an open mind and don’t be judgmental of your own reactions. Just remember that if your nerves and anxiety are ongoing, you may want to talk it over with someone you trust. Marriage is one of those things that you don’t want to get into unless you’re sure about, so don’t take your anxiety lightly.

Having moments like the ones described above is normal, even if you are 100% sure you’re marrying the right person. Commitment is a scary word, and marriage is an even scarier one, so if you do experience moments of ‘Am I doing the right thing?’ just ride the wave until it passes. Recognise that the reason these thoughts appear is because, as a thinking individual, you realize that marriage is not something to be taken lightly. So whether these moments occur when you’re sitting in the makeup chair or when you’re riding off in your wedding car for the night, talk yourself through them and no doubt they will pass. Now go off and enjoy the rest of your wedding. You’ve got the rest of your life to play out.

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