Help! Do I really want to do this?

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It might happen a month before your wedding or it might happen a week before. It might even happen the night before your wedding. You may be doing something completely ordinary and inconsequential like brushing your teeth or watching TV when it hits. It starts with an unformed thought at the back of your head, which turns into an annoying niggle, which turns into a mild case of butterflies, which in turn can escalate into full blown anxiety. And as you stand there brushing your teeth and looking at your reflection in the mirror opposite, you literally see your eyes begin to look fearful as the thought rushes through your head like a banner: Do I really want to do this? Do I really want to get married?

What you have to realize is that you can be completely head over heels over your fiancé, been looking forward to your wedding from day one, and these thoughts may still decide to play games with you. In other words, thoughts like these are completely normal in most cases. These thoughts act as a nervous knee jerk reaction letting you know that marriage is a big thing. Quite often when we experience anxiety before a big event it is our body’s way of letting us know that the event is important to us. Marriage is a big deal, so it’s totally understandable to experience some pre-wedding nerves. If, however, your pre-wedding anxiety has been plaguing you consistently for an extended period of time and is accompanied by a feeling of dread, it would probably be a good idea to check in with someone you trust.

So, back to those pre-wedding nerves. When you do feel those butterflies take up camp in your stomach here’s what you should mentally tell them. “Hi butterflies. I’m so pleased you’re enjoying swinging between my small and large intestines. Now, here’s the thing: I know why you’re there, and it’s ok. It’s ok because it’s all normal. This is what should be happening. So please, make yourselves at home and enjoy the free wifi and complimentary stomach juices. And while you’re at it, make sure to do some sun tanning. After all, if you’re living in my stomach, I want you to feel at home. But one more thing, butterflies: please don’t make yourself too at home because you’ll wear out your welcome.” Then, after you’ve given them a talking to, put your attention elsewhere. Distract yourself and let your mind focus on something else entirely. We all know butterflies like to be given undivided attention so if you want them to leave there is no better way than to stop tuning into them.

Ok, so we’ve dealt with the butterflies. But what about the actual cause of the butterflies? What about all that mental talk about jumping off the 100 metre platform into a scary substance called marriage? Well, here’s what you’ve got to remember. One of the reasons marriage is scary is because it’s unknown. Luckily your relationship with your fiancé is not unknown. Yes, you might be entering into something serious and quite adult sounding, but really it’s just another phase to your relationship together. See? It’s sounding less scary already.

So you’ve read this article and you may or may not be convinced. If you’re not convinced, that’s ok, because when the day of your wedding does arrive, by hook or by crook, those butterflies will slowly disappear as the day wears on. Take one look at your fiancé, catch his eye and smile that secret smile that conveys more than the eye can see, and let the day happen. Your wedding day has arrived and you’re bringing someone new into your life forever. There is no place for rivals in the form of spoiled little butterflies anymore.



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