Don’t step on the dress sir
The thing with some wedding dresses are that the poor groom cannot get close to his bride without stepping on her dress. This problem only rears its ugly head on the actual day, as this is the first time the couple try and manoeuvre their way round wide dresses and long trains.
Our groom was a friendly handsome chap that clearly loved his new wife to bits. He held her hand right through the ceremony and seldom looked at any other person but her. The little kisses he stole in church made all the women envy the lucky bride. Then they had to walk out of the ceremony.
Her dress was tight fitting and showed her gorgeous figure perfectly. Just above her knees, the dress clocked out into an amazing full ball gown that consisted of layers and layers of tulle and French lacework. Though beautiful, it made it impossible to get close to the bride.
Our groom did not know this. As he started his way out of the church, a very happily married man, he stepped onto her dress. His sheepish grin pardoned him immediately but she did tell him in no certain terms not to step on her dress. They tried again. He kept a bit more of a distance, but soon disaster struck. Two steps and his shoe ripped a tear into her dress.
This time she was clearly annoyed at him. He carefully looked down at the problem he was facing, found a good distance to keep and they walked out under the music. Outside the crowd was waiting and he went in to draw his new wife closer to him. Of course he forgot about the dress and obviously he stepped onto it again.
The bride went ballistic. ‘Do not step on my dress’ she said in a very firm manner. His eyes went dull in that instant. There, right before every one, he lightly pushed her away from him and let her hand go. She looked at him with shock, but he was determined not to step on her dress again.
No matter what the bride did or how she pleaded, her groom would not get closer than a meter from her. She would try and walk up to him and he would step away quickly. This drove her nuts, but he stood his man. People were laughing and joking round them about this silliness, but he kept his distance at all times.
The bride eventually broke down in tears. Groom decided that this was enough and grabbed his new wife again. They kissed and made up to great applause and lots of cheers. Hand in hand they walked further to their car. A loud rip was heard as he again stepped on her dress. This was as much as he could take.
There and then he went down on his knee, took hold of a hand full of fabric and ripped it from the dress. This left a clear indent in the dress and more evidently, a very shocked bride. Before she could say a word, he simply kissed her and told her that he really wanted to be close to her and now he could do just that. Together they walked off into their new life – he close to his bride in her half torn dress.