Bridal jealousy: how to deal sensitively with your single friends
Getting married is a little like joining an elite club: the Marriage Club. In this club, there is plenty of time to talk about weddings and bridal dresses, and later down the track, pregnancies and baby carriages. It’s only natural that as a bride-to-be you’ll find yourself wanting to get advice from people who have been there and done it all before – married people you can now relate to. But often without realizing it, all this wedding chatter can be at the expense of people you once had a lot to do with and would still like in your lives – your single friends.
Somehow the idea of discussing first dates, silly crushes, shared rentals and new jobs seems less appealing, and definitely less relevant, than talking over different types of ring settings with a girlfriend who has just gotten married. While all this is normal and to be expected, it can leave your single friends feeling a little left out, especially if all they really want is to find a nice guy and settle down. Here we will shed light onto some of the ways in which you, as the bride, can make your single friends feel special and worthwhile, so if you’re nodding your head because you can relate, this article is for you.
The engagement process and the lead up to the wedding is an all-consuming time for brides. Whether they admit to it or not, a bride-to-be’s brain is usually taken up by her approaching wedding. This means, quite literally, it’s pretty much all she’s thinking about. Once you begin to understand the workings of a bride’s brain, it makes it a little more understandable that brides often have trouble concentrating, and when it comes to carrying out a conversation, wedding related babble is usually the first (and possibly only) thing they are capable of churning out. Now that we’ve established that, let’s go back to the single friends’ scenario. To cut to the chase, most single friends are not content to engage in wedding talk all the time. Sure, they may be happy for their engaged-to-be-married friend, but they still have lives – interesting and important lives – and sometimes it can feel like they are losing their close friend to this Marriage Monster.
Here’s where you, as the bride, come into the picture. It’s as simple as making the time to hang out with your old friends, letting the conversation drift to non-wedding related topics, and showing a keen interest in their lives. A good way to balance out the wedding babble is to wait until your friend brings it up before talking about it. If your friend is showing an interest in your wedding and would like to be involved, by all means let it be a mutual arrangement. But if they are the I’m-so-happy-for-you-but… types, let the wedding chatter stop and instead focus on some of your friend’s interests. Be mindful of the fact that your friends’ may be harboring undercurrents of jealousy, so there’s no need to rub things in by gushing over how fantastic your fiancé is. Instead, put your efforts elsewhere, and try to set some of your friends up with some of your fiancé’s. Even if their dates bomb, they will still appreciate the gesture, and you’ll score yourself some points in the thoughtful friend department.
Also keep in mind, that after the wedding, your old friends should not be forgotten in the whirlwind of honeymooning and settling into married life. Being a good friend means being a good friend all the time, even when you may not feel like it. Support them in their successes, comfort them in their losses, and let them know you care by spending time with them. You may be married, but married people need single friends, too. Even the elite Marriage Club gets boring after a while.